Closing In

20th December: Closing In

The vomiting and lack of appetite have got worse. I can’t keep any food or water down. I’m heading to hospital in the morning so will try get this dealt with there. I feel like rubbish and am dropped at the doors. I’m meant to be in for a routine blood test before the last Chemo session tomorrow however I soon realise as I step out of the lift I’m in for a lot more. The room spins and I make it to reception stopped by my nutritionist on route I have to find a seat and take in nothing she says to me. I get up and settle in the day area hoping all would settle once I was sat down. One of the nurses comes to see me and starts getting me ready for taking blood. The room closes in my head is light but I can’t hold it up. I get carried \ ushered to a bed and gradually come round. Every doctor available sees me. They all ask if the is anything else unusual, as far as I’m concerned it is all to do with lack of food and water. The only thing I can find for the doctors is a small spot on my left leg; it looks like an insect bite or in growing hair, nothing to be worried about. I am booked into isolation.

The next day I take a look at my leg. It know looks like I have had a football kicked at me as hard as possible and I have a huge red patch round what is now a black scab. What the hell is this?? I’m put on every antibiotic they can get hold of. I’m on a set of 3 drips for 24 hours a day. 1 drip is annoying but 3 is an never-ending beeping. I am sent for various scans to determine the depth and severity of the infection.

Day 3; The rash and black spot have grown again and covers most my thigh. A surgical consultant visits me. He scares the bejesus of me, he starts of by saying “if this infection reaches the muscle it would be a MRSA”. Where had it reached… Luckily not the muscle yet. If it does reach the muscle with the rate it is spreading they may have to consider removing the leg to stop the spread.. Anyway that’s not worth worrying about, as it is the antibiotics have started to put the infection into retreat. The consultant comes back and takes a sample from my leg, after this it is put into a dressing and I don’t see the wound again for a few days. All I know is after he is finished the pain is excruciating. I’m put on a heavy dose of morphine, after this I have no idea where I am and spend most of time talking rubbish.

Christmas Eve to New Year: Happy ?
Still talking rubbish, think I’m in a ski resort in Austria, then think I’m on a train? Christmas day while slightly more conscious of my surroundings still out of it. Christmas postponed. Boxing day to New Year I start to recover but slowly. I spend most of the days sleeping still under heavy painkillers. It goes down as the quietest Christmas and New Year ever, I’m not sure I ever realised it was even New Year. More to celebrate after I’m out

Story so far…

On the 6th October 2007 Robbie was diagnosed with Leukaemia. He resolved to fight this disease and come out of it for the better. Besides I’m young fit, healthy if anyone can beat this I can.

The initial few weeks bring a shock to the system, both in terms of what I’m in for drugs, tubes; routines, hospital food and how different people deal with disease. The first round of Chemo does not cause much of an issue. I eventually lose my hair, but manage to keep watching OB’s throughout most of the treatment. If this is all I have to put up with its all ok I can handle this.
I did have one problem during the 1st phase that carried through to phase 2 of the treatment… my wisdom tooth was swelling up, this ended up causing far more problems than you would expect. After an operation to sort out the second round of Chemo started while I still had an infection. The result was cold sweats, temperatures around 40 c and very rough. While the infections gradually reduced the Chemo was still hard, vomiting at least 3 times a day and tried every anti-sickness drug available with no effect. Eventually things calm down enough for the doctors to let me home on the 11th December. Last Chemo is on the 21st December, then I’ll be free for Christmas at home.

What week\ What Day??

The is no point in detailing what has gone on in the last 2 weeks. Suffice to say its been difficult. The chemotherapy is taking its toll. Its now routine to be ill several times a day, appetite has gone completely partly in fear of the food been brought up again. This is not helped by the standard of hospital food. I am better of eating little and often. Each day would bring different challengers, different drugs, different nurses, different patients on the ward with different habits, some nights you would sleep a little, some nights you would barely sleep at all.

Doctors change over during these 2 weeks. All the junior doctors who have treated me since diagnoses are moving on. In practice it is the junior doctors who deal with you most day to day the consultants make decisions on your treatment and the junior doctors carry it out. I knew all of these very well, it will take the new doctors quite awhile to build up the trust that these doctors had earned.

The sickness I can deal with, however the tiredness is the problem. I can't remember when the last good nights sleep I've had. You can't catch up during the day. You nerve feel right, this is not helped by blood counts dropping with Chemo and the lack of protein I'm eating.

While I've not been given the all clear from all infections I was released home on Tuesday 11th December. I'm still incredibly tired (hence a fairly short entry for 2 weeks). Most my time is spent sleeping and visitors are limited. I can just about do something for half an hour then need to lie down again.

I'm so happy to be at home, my chances of getting rest are a lot higher. Also at home I would stand less chance if picking up infection. I'm due back for blood transfusion, chemo and lumber punture. The blood may make me feel more awake. Until then I need to try get some decent food down.

Also thank you to Bristol Rugby and Gloucester Rugby for providing signed shirts (inc a Eng shirt). Which are to be auctioned by CLIC Sargent on

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/CLIC-Sargent-Shop

Please take a look and consider as Christmas presents for friends, family or yourself. More money raised the better.

Thanks for your support.

Robbie