Happy Chemo...

I have not slept. But feeling good. I want to get started. Just in case teh Chemo makes me feel sick I decide to eat as much as possible. It feels almost like a inmates last meal. First round of drugs arrive. The main drug is steroids.. tastes awful and I'm reminded my moods might go a bit funny.

I should know that if I'm told something will happen first thing then it won't. The Chemo is not ready. It won't be until lunch. Lunch passes, I eat as much as possible again. A time is set for 3:00. From 2:00 I am stomping up and down the ward getting ready for it. 3:00 passes. I'm getting stressed and annoyed with nurses. This is partly down to tension building and the steroids. I take myself out of the ward and go up and down the stairs several times. My legs still burn from lack of oxygen in the blood but I need to do something. They need something to relieve stress in here. This waiting comes to symbolise the effect Leukaemia will have on my life. Its unplanned, I can't control it, I just need to be patient and take care of what I can control.

Phone is filling up with messages of goodluck. I don't reply to any but take heart in the fact people are thinking of me. I'm turning visitors away as I want to know what treatment will do to me. It gets to 5:00 I am resigned to the fact it won't happen today so a few people arrange to pop in after work.

Just as Phil & Will arrive so does the Chemo. I did not really know what to expect. Its a series of injections. The build up does not match the treatment. It is no different from having a drip. Its painless and passes without incident. Now I've had the treatment its waiting for the sideeffects to kick in. The first does shortly after. Wee turns bright pink. They did not tell me about this... After checking with the nurse its normal, actually shows kidneys are working properly.

Charlotte pops in and brings a laptop. I'm connected to the outside world. Now I don't feel so isololated. I catch up on messages of support and whats been going on outside ward 62 for a few days. Makes me feel so much better.